


The Prince's Studies

by Mizufae, psmithery



Series: The Prince [5]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 69, Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Modern Era, Oral Sex, Public Sex, Smut, Squee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-06
Updated: 2011-06-28
Packaged: 2017-10-20 04:54:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/208948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mizufae/pseuds/Mizufae, https://archiveofourown.org/users/psmithery/pseuds/psmithery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Arthur and Merlin are quite foolish, but learn something in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lessons In Diplomacy

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is broken up into shorter chapters which will be posted as they get written, so keep an eye out for updates.
> 
> Also posted [on livejournal](http://mintandhoney.livejournal.com/tag/.the%20prince%27s%20studies).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin may be good at antidifferentiation, but it turns out they're pants at everything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted on [livejournal](http://mintandhoney.livejournal.com/2785.html). Merlin's lovely green pants can be viewed [here](http://psmithery.livejournal.com/17117.html#green%20pants). (Possibly NSFW).

Arthur arrived at school on Monday to find Merlin already seated in maths, his nose buried in an old, ratty book. He was so absorbed in his reading, he didn’t notice Arthur dropping into the seat beside him, or that Gwaine had stuck a collection of caramel wrappers in his hair.

“How are we Gwaine? Pull up alright after Friday?”

“Yeah, not bad man. You?” Gwaine stuck one of the unwrapped caramels into Merlin’s mouth, who had turned around to belatedly say hello. Arthur ground his teeth but remained seated, watching Merlin suck on the sweet. Merlin gave a jaunty wave, and picked up his book again, oblivious to Gwaine sticking the wrapper on the top of his head.

“Yeah, alright I ‘spose.”

Leon thumped his bag on the table next to Arthur. “Hello all. Merlin. Arthur. You both well?”

“Good, thanks Le-le.” Merlin said absently.

They had just begun a unit on antidifferentiation. Arthur found it ridiculously easy and he always ensured Merlin was up to speed, so he was happy to sit back and make the most of their first lesson of the day.

“So apparently Willow and Matthew had a bit of a barney at Mary’s thing on Saturday?”

“I heard she kicked him in the balls!” sniggered Gwaine, “But seriously, I wouldn’t complain about getting one in the ‘nads when she’s doing the kicking. God, the legs on her.”

“You are so whipped, mate.” Merlin was doodling a herd of unicorns in the margins of his notebook.

“Piss off.”

Leon turned around with a furious expression. ”Would you shut it? We’re not _all_ maths freaks, okay?”

They all shrugged and settled in to the problem sets on the board. Arthur waited until the early morning chatter rose up around them once more, leaned over to Merlin and poked his side.

“You left these at my place.” He shoved Merlin’s freshly laundered green pants into his lap. “Didn’t know you were the type to go commando,” he whispered.

Merlin’s eyes bulged and he quickly stuffed the flash of emerald fabric into his rucksack. Arthur made use of his momentary distraction to grab hold of Merlin’s knee and give it a squeeze. Merlin tried to push him off but just ended up making his chair scrape across the floor.

“Stop it!” he laughed.

“Comaaaandoooo.” Arthur slid his hand up Merlin’s thigh. “I thought it was kinda hot, actually.”

“Yeah? Did you get _hard_ when you found them?” He crooked an eyebrow.

“You fucking tease.”

Merlin opened his mouth for a retort, when Mr Tal, their old, rather grumpy maths teacher gave them an ominous glare.

They ducked their heads, but Arthur did not retrieve his hand.

Once Mr Tal had turned away, Merlin bent over again. “I didn’t go commando.”

“What? As if! You can’t even remember to bring lunch to school.”

Merlin grinned wickedly.

“You are a filthy liar, Merlin Emrys.” Arthur punctuated this statement with a firm prod to Merlin’s inner thigh.

Merlin didn’t respond, just hunched forward in his seat some more, causing his trousers to slip an inch down his hips. They kept up their argument until the end of the class by way of passed notes and _sotto voce_ bickering, to the great displeasure of Mr Tal.

“Do they still have the heat on you think?” Merlin shucked his blazer off and tucked it into his bag, loosened his tie. He untucked his shirt, too, and as he stubbornly blocked the aisle to practically undress in front of the entire class, Arthur caught a flash of something bright as his shirt tails flicked up. It was... red?

Over the weeks, Arthur had developed an intimate knowledge of Merlin’s pants, and had often teased him about their boring colours. It was his nagging that had led Merlin to invest in the emerald briefs, which Arthur had christened by rubbing him off through them the first time he had worn them. So, he knew for a fact that Merlin did not own any red pants, and yet, there they were.

“See you after Bio, yeah?”

Arthur blinked and tore his eyes away from Merlin’s bottom. “Yeah, meet you in the common room?”

Merlin stuffed a hand into his pocket, flashing the red pants again in the process. “Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the library to get started on the Dev project.”

He had his bottom lip caught in his teeth, and Arthur knew _that_ look. He adjusted his blazer. “Sounds good. See you there.” He was too distracted to care that his voice was suddenly an octave higher.

Arthur had no recollection of getting to Japanese as he was too busy trying to will down his burgeoning erection. It was no mean feat, given that Merlin had just invited him to exchange sneaky handjobs in the back of the library. Before his fantasies began to take on an elaborate edge, he was startled out of his thoughts by the arrival of Gwen, who began shaking his arm frantically.

“Arthur! Arthur! I think I might have a date with Lance on Thursday. What do I do?”

He frowned. “I thought you’d fancied him for ages?”

“Yes, exactly.” She banged her head on his shoulder. “Sorry. I know I’m being all melodramatic, it’s just - there’s all this pressure now, you know? We hang out all the time and I thought I’d finally managed to act _normal_ around him, at least as normal as I ever get, but you know how he is, he’s going to get all _respectful_ of me now and what if I don’t _want_ him to...” Arthur tuned her out as she babbled on.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a dark-haired girl smiling manically at him, flashing an impressive pair of gap-teeth. He grabbed Gwen and hauled her into the seat beside him.

“You have to save me!” he hissed, ducking down, “Helen is trying to sit next to me again!”

Gwen looked at him strangely. “What’s wrong with Helen?”

“I think she likes me.” He smiled weakly over at the girl. “Last time she sat next to me, she collected all my pencil shavings and put them in her bra!”

“Aww, that’s sweet.”

“Gwen. No. That’s not sweet. If you think... I’m going to text Lance right now and tell him I take back my advice. My advice, mind you, where I told him to ask you out.”

Gwen didn’t miss a beat. “In that case.” She made as if to stand up.

“No, no okay, I promise I won’t,” he said desperately.

“And you have to promise to double-date with us, or I’ll give her the combination to your cricket locker and she can steal all your dirty clothes.”

“Yes, yes I promise.” He didn’t let go of her until she’d pulled her text book out. On the other side of the classroom, Helen was staring daggers at the pair of them. “Wait, what? Double date? Gwen!”

Gwen just smiled. " _Ohayo Pendragon-san! Hiruyasumi wo tanoshimi ne._ "

“ _Boku no bento wa umeboshi bakkari_.”

By the end of Japanese, Arthur’s arousal had well and truly wilted, as Helen held up a drawing of A+H surrounded by hearts in a rainbow of sparkle gel pens, which she had scrawled all over her notes. When Gwen gave him a friendly shove, Helen aimed the V of her fingers at her own eyes and then pointed vehemently in Gwen’s direction. Arthur was surprised his balls didn’t shrivel.

“You coming back to the house?” Gwen asked as they were picking up their books.

“Nah, we’ve got a big project for Dev and Merlin wants to get started before all the good books are pinched.”

“The pair of you are such nerds, it’s so adorable.”

Arthur rolled his eyes and did his best not to think of where, exactly, he was going to push Merlin up against the shelves in a few minutes’ time.

“Remember! Double date or Helen sniffs your cricket box!” Gwen walked backwards down the hall, pointing.

He found Merlin scuffing his feet on the tiles outside the library, with his shirt still untucked and tie askew. Little pieces of tinfoil still shone in his hair from Gwaine’s attentions in maths.

“What took you so long?” Merlin asked, grabbing a fistful of Arthur’s blazer and dragging him inside.

“Sorry, Gwen was blackmailing me again.” He let Merlin push him up against a shelf at the back of the physics section.

“Speaking of Gwen,” Merlin smiled as he untucked Arthur’s shirt, “you know what Lance _finally_ got around to doing...”

“Asked Gwen out on a proper date?” Arthur bit down on his ear, shivering as Merlin’s cold fingers traced the skin above his belt.

“Yeah, but he was all - “

Arthur cut him off with a kiss. “Mate, I do not care, right? You’ve been a right bloody cock-tease all morning... christ.” He cupped Merlin’s arse and pulled them flush against one another. “What’s the deal with the pants then? D’you get them yesterday or something?”

“Got ‘em Saturday morning.”

Arthur slid his hand under Merlin’s belt and palmed him firmly through his pants. He realised after a moment that they weren’t snug like the briefs Merlin usually wore. Merlin’s grin was utterly shameless.

“D’you realize I could nick _anything_ from your room when you’re asleep like that?”

“ _Fuck_ \- you mean-” Arthur choked off as Merlin pushed a thigh between his own, rubbing it purposefully against his cock.

Merlin reached up to peel away at Arthur’s collar and bit just below the neckline. “Mmm-hm. When do you want ‘em back?”

Arthur reached up behind Merlin to grab the edge of the shelves for balance. “Keep the bloody things for all I care, just -”

Infuriatingly, Merlin stopped and looked up from the fast-forming mark on his clavicle. “But you brought back mine, all clean, too.”

Arthur groaned, fumbling his belt open and pressing Merlin’s hand to his cock. He seemed to get the hint then, sliding his fingers under the elastic and pressing little kisses soundly onto Arthur’s open mouth.

They came, gasping softly, just as the rest of their class filed in. Merlin, because he was a dirty little pervert and _planned_ these things, wiped off their hands with a little towel he produced from his rucksack, and tucked Arthur’s cock back into his pants.

“So apparently Lance and Gwen want to do a double-date or something,” Merlin said some time later, hooking his foot around Arthur’s ankle and bobbling it restlessly as he flicked through a book on the history of road building.

“Mmm, she said something of the sort to me in Japanese.” Arthur sighed. “Maybe I should invite Helen, just to make my point”

“Oh.” Merlin twisted a corner of his page between his fingers. “I thought maybe _we_ could go. Together.”

“No - what? No. Merlin, this is a _date_.”

“Yeah, well?” He drummed his knuckles on the tabletop, held Arthur’s eyes.

Arthur put his pen down. He spoke in a very quiet, vehement tone. “Look, Merlin. This -” he gestured between them, “it’s just, you know - we’re just getting off, yeah? I’m not _gay_ or anything.”

Merlin pulled his foot away and leaned forward. “Oh, come on! Every time we’re alone, you kiss me or,” he dropped his voice to an angry whisper, “you get all handsy, you keep sending me stupid text messages in the evening _and_ you told me you wanted to feed me sandwiches while you jerked me off in the common room! What the fuck am I supposed to think?”

“What the fuck Merlin?” Arthur slammed his book shut. “Just because you have, I don’t know, latent queer tendencies doesn’t mean I -”

“Gentlemen.” Mr. Monmouth cleared his throat. “You are disturbing the rest of the students. You can continue this outside and see me in my office after class.” He pointed to the exit with a sweep of his pendulous arms.

“Fine.” Merlin shoved his books into his rucksack and stormed out.

Arthur actually bothered to check out a book before leaving, and smacked into Merlin just outside the door. Merlin grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him down the hall to the nearest bathroom.

“Where are we - ? No, Merlin, I’m not- what the fuck are you doing?”

Merlin was shucking off his trousers and pants, right there in the middle of the bathroom where anybody could see, his face set.

“I do _not_ have queer _tendencies_ you half-formed, calf-brained, two-faced fucking... cock-sucker! And neither do you!” He balled up the red pants and flung them as hard as he could at Arthur’s face. “Have your fucking pants back. Try not to wank in them too much if you can help it.”

Arthur was poleaxed. He wasn’t even tempted to laugh as Merlin bent over, pale little arse in the air as he dug out his own green pants and pulled them on.

“It won’t be that hard, will it? It’s not like you’ve got any tits and I’m sick of your bloody great cock anyway!”

“Fuck right off, Pendragon.” Merlin jerked the door open, making it bang against the wall.

“Well, fuck you too, Emrys,” Arthur shouted after him.

The bathroom seemed too quiet after all the shouting. His hands were shaking. He turned the tap on and splashed water in his face, trying to slow his breathing. Shite. He’d never wanted to punch Merlin before, not even when he’d been a chubby little twerp, dead-set on making his Friday afternoons miserable. And now he wanted nothing more than to slam his bloody head into a wall.

Arthur carefully wrapped his hand up in his blazer, in one of the bizarre moments of calm that only happened when he got properly angry. He inhaled, and slammed his fist into the nearest stall door.

He went through the rest of his classes in a daze. He ate his lunch in the back of the language wing, and went to run extra laps in the remaining time. He didn’t sit near Merlin again that day. After the last class, he made a point to leave first and walk in the opposite direction to the badminton courts.

As all the students streamed out through the front gates, catching their trains and buses and lifts from friends, Arthur jogged up to a girl who was making her way to her little blue car. “Sophia! Sophia, have you got a second?”

Sophia turned around in a sweep of long wavy hair. She frowned a bit at him. “Oh, hello Arthur. What’s up?”

“Look, you know Gwen right?” Arthur tilted his hips, tried to look nonchalant.

She pursed her lips. “Sure...”

“And you know how her and Lance have fancied each other since, like, the stone age?”

“Mmm?”

Arthur was starting remember again, how this was done. So he grabbed obligingly onto her forearm. “Will you come with me and save me from the horror of going on their first real live date? They’ve ganged up on me and want to double and Soph, you’re my only, my best hope!” He tilted his head just so, and gave her the puppydog eyes.

She sighed. “Oh, alright, you numpty. But you’re paying.”

“For you? Platters of Lobster Thermidor and buckets of Dom, of course.” Arthur arced his hand through the air.

“More like vodka and caviar but who’s counting?” She laughed lightly, hooking her arm into his. He smiled. This was easy. This, Arthur could handle.


	2. The Servant's Admonitions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Freya talk kittens, cocks and crying emo tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for: mild homophobia, poor spelling & emo tears

From: ponderoustibbons@gmail.com  
To: supermeowpants@gmail.com  
Date: Tue, 19 April, 2011  
Subject: FAIL

I talked to Arthur about the gay thing. It was bad. I’m never taking your advice again.  


* * *

From: supermeowpants@gmail.com  
To: ponderoustibbons@gmail.com  
Date: Tue, 19 April, 2011  
Subject: Re: FAIL

Shit Merlin, are you okay? What happened?

-Freya  


* * *

From: ponderoustibbons@gmail.com  
To: supermeowpants@gmail.com  
Date: Wed, 20 April, 2011  
Subject: AM CRYING THROUGH MY EYELINER ATM PLZ EXCUSE TYPOS

You’re going to demand “deets” again aren’t you? I’ll have you know blackmail is illegal. Fine, I’ll cut you off at the pass, hope you’re happy.

We’d gone to the library after second period, cos we have dev there straight after break, but we went early because Arthur had been squeezing my fucking knee again in maths and well I’m only human yeah? And I was wearing his pants (underpants, you uncultured American youth). It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later. But we had a good time in the library befor the class showed up right?

Anyway, I’d been talking to Lance in bio, and it turns out he’s finally plucked up the courage to ask Gwen out and they’re having dinner on Thurs, but they’re all worried that it’ll be weird, which is stupid because they’ve been friends for AGES, but whatever. So Lance asked me if I wanted to come w/ them and make it a double date, though who I was supposed to be bringing, I have no idea. Turns out that Gwen had been thinking simliarly and asked Arthur, so there we were in the library, discussing this and I said “how about we go” and he just SNAPPED and started saying all this shit like “This was all just mates, I’m not gay, don’t be disgusting”

IS THAT SO? FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT ARTHUR, JUST AFTER I’VE WANKED YOU OFF AGAINST A BOOKCASE YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD. YOU CERTAINLY WEERNT COMPLAINING THEN.

Things got a little out of hand after that and eveentualy Mr. Monmouth (was he teaching here when you were on exchange?) kicked us out. So we had it out in the bathroom (I had to give him his pants back, you see – seriously Freya, it was even more awkward than the awkward sext I sent you, you have no idea) and he kept going on about how I had “queer tendencies” and all this bullshit. And really, FFS, I’VE BEEN PUTTING MY HANDS DOWN HIS PANTS FOR THE PAST TWO BLOODY MONTHS and it only occurs to him NOW that I might have “queer tendencies”? Or that HE might have “queer tendencies”, given all the crap he told me when we were drunk.

Yeah, about that. Aparently he wants to jerk me off in the back of Leon’s van. And in the common room? IDK. Clearly he has some weird exhibitionist thing or something. (Is this TMI? Actually, what am I even saying, you don’t believe in TMI.)

But it’s just so shit, because he’d been really sweet on Friday night – well, for part of it, at least, the rest of the time he was being a wanker – and he held my hand for basically the whole night, and let me hog the covers, even though he was NAKED, and stopped trying to get us to come an even number of times entirely... (AND NO, BEFORE YOU ASK, I’M NOT TELLING YOU ALL THE SORDID DETAILS) and, just. Fuck, I’m angry and sad and I kinda hate him and it’s really shit.

If I run away to America, can you promise not to make me your token british gay friend please? I’ll even wear a scarf if I have to, but I draw the line at a pink one. You’ve got loads of queer friends, right? I’d blend right in! Note to self: run away at soonest possible convenience.

So I think we’ve broken up. Not that we were really together, but still. And it’s doubly shit because I would normally talk to him about this sort of thing, but he’s the problem, so I’m just. ARGH. Not that hed be particularly helpful but he’d at least distract me from my woes. You’re right. Boys are stupid.

Hope you’re well and you got that foster kitten thing sorted, let me know when you fuck up everything so I can commiserate for you.

~Merlin  


* * *

From: supermeowpants@gmail.com  
To: ponderoustibbons@gmail.com  
Date: Wed, 20 April, 2011  
Subject: Sigh. MEN.

Woah take a deep breath!

Wait a minute. Let me get this clear.

You dropped a bomb on Arthur in the MIDDLE OF CLASS that you wanted to date him, and you wanted your first date as a couple to be a double with Lance and Gwen, Arthur’s ex-gf, and this is also THEIR very first date as a couple? And you just... you didn’t even, you were having fun in the library and then THAT?

Merlin that’s not what I meant at ALL. I mean you guys spend so much time alone still, right? Aren’t you just barraged with convenient time in which you could have a chat about being honest? My god. You’re so... oh you’re so FRUSTRATING.

I want to tell you I’m totally on your side but we BOTH know how DUMB arthur is! Didn’t you think this through even the tiniest bit? Has he sucked all your brains out through your cock?

& OK, I have to ask, what was that with the “coming an even number of times”? I always knew he was a bit anal, but REALLY? LOL. He isn’t properly OCD or anything, is he?

Anyway, you have to give this some time, I think. He’s freaking out and you’re freaking out and you can’t just let this go like POOF! gone, you know? Even if he’s a dim obsessive weirdo he’s been your best friend for ages so don’t do anything too rash alright?

-Freya  


* * *

From: ponderoustibbons@gmail.com  
To: supermeowpants@gmail.com  
Date: Wed, 20 April, 2011  
Subject: way to support me in my time of need faghag

1\. Arthur’s not dumb!  
2\. He’s never sucked my cock, not even once.  
3\. And I don’t think he’s OCD. I think I’d have noticed by now. He just likes things to be balanced, that’s all. And sometimes sees getting off as a competition.  
4\. He’s apparently taking SOPHIA THE KINKY SLAG on Gwen and Lance’s first date. Pretty much I am going to murder her.

~Merlin  


* * *

From: supermeowpants@gmail.com  
To: ponderoustibbons@gmail.com  
Date: Thurs, 21 April, 2011  
Subject: DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE MERLIN THOMAS EMRYS.

1\. Honey, srsly. Arthur is a bit dumb. You just have to accept.  
2\. I can see you’re completely fine with that fact. Poor bb, how have you coped without it? Next time you get the chance just shove it right in his mouth. That totally worked with me, after all. WAIT, NO IT DIDN’T.  
3\. Also, Merlin, ARTHUR IS WEIRD. It needs to be said, alright?  
4\. HEY NOW. Stop this woman-bashing. You’re projecting, you angsty ball of sadness, like a dirty jealous thing. Don’t bash the females just because you like the cock now. I know you’re just being all jelly over your ~man~ but if you’re to be my queer compatriot you need to not be a misogynist bastard. Up with this I shall not put!

-Freya

PS: I still love you, you mad boy. Just hold out okay? He’ll come around. Just buck up about it? Wish I could hug you; this gif will have to do.

  
(You are the giraffe.)


	3. The Courtly Lady's Purview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Lance is a gentleman, Gwen is excitable, Sophia is headstrong, and Arthur is conscientious about oral hygiene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for: very mild homophobia and excessive adolescent squee.
> 
> Also posted on [livejournal](http://mintandhoney.livejournal.com/3305.html).

There were certain aspects of Arthur that Sophia hated. She never liked how self-absorbed he was, and she despised how unaware he always seemed to be of his own privilege. She pushed him up the walkway in his front yard to his enormous house, the light left on in the kitchen from when the cook had been there making their meals for the holiday weekend. When she’d dumped Arthur, she’d told him it was because she was too busy to have a boyfriend, and embarked on her campaign for Head of School. Though to be perfectly honest, it had actually been because being with him reminded her of all the things she would have to work so hard to get for herself.

There were certain aspects of Arthur, however, that she really liked. Aspect one: his arse. It was, to put it succinctly, bloody fantastic. It was all muscular in the right way but round and perky and responsive, and whenever they’d gotten to the heavy petting portion of the evening she’d revelled in groping it. The rest of Arthur was rather easy on her eyes, as well. Every year he seemed to grow that little bit more attractive. Going by his father, that wasn’t surprising, but Sophia appreciated it all the same. He was also the most receptive to her particular predilections of any boy she’d been with thus far - not that there were all that many - and although she had wondered if it was really normal to feel the way she did, a cursory search on google had shored up her confidence.

Sophia was a bit kinky. Apparently in uni she was going to have a ball, but really she was getting rather impatient.

 _ ~~Thursday~~ Friday, April 21st SO LATE OMG!_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I love him I love him I love him!  
!!!!_

 _I’ve been afraid to write in you all week because I didn’t want to go back and read myself getting my hopes up for nothing. On Monday morning Lance ASKED ME OUT. He didn’t just ask me for a coffee or over for a movie, he didn’t just put his arm around me on the couch or anything. It was first thing in the morning and he sat down next to me in class and HE PUT A FINGER ON THE BACK OF MY HAND. I jumped! Then he said, god, I can quote him, he was SO ADORABLE, he said “Gwen, would you do me the honour of going on a date with me?” And of course I froze because I wasn’t totally sure if I had woken up yet that morning or if it was a dream but eventually I must have gotten out a yes because he just BEAMED at me for the rest of the morning._

 _But OH it made both of us SO NERVOUS. For the rest of the week Lance wasn’t the same. I was starting to get so worried that everything was ruined because I mean, what do you do when you go from best friends to dating and it doesn’t work out? I wouldn’t be able to STAND IT if I couldn’t hang out with Lance anymore._

 _It worked out though. OH MY GOD I CAN’T WRITE FAST ENOUGH TO GET IT ALL OUT FOR YOU. I’m so sleepy, it’s 1am and I’ve been on an adrenalin high for what feels like four days, but I want to write it all down, because it was amazing. Stupid pens. Why are you so much slower than typing?_

 _Don’t get ahead of yourself, self. Diary, it’s really hard for me not to skip to my favourite parts but then all of them become my favourite parts._

Arthur hovered by his front door, looking Sophia up and down with a critical gaze. The top button of his shirt was undone, revealing the notch at the bottom of his throat, and Sophia shrugged internally. Who was it going to hurt? “Your father’s not home, right?”

“Not until midnight at least. Client dinner in the city.”

This was familiar enough. “Come on then,” Sophia said, and gestured at the door.

She strode in front of him through the foyer, her heels clicking on the hardwood, and laid herself out on one of the living room couches. Her skirt pooled attractively around her thighs and she thrust her chest out a bit, just to make sure the signal was clear. Arthur sat down gingerly at the other end of the cushion, taking her in. “Tea?” he asked, drumming on his knee.

“No thank you, Arthur.” And then after a pause, during which she swore she could hear a clock ticking despite there not being one in the room, she uncrossed her ankles, toed off her shoes, and in the bright light of the living room lamps she ran her foot all the way up Arthur’s leg and pressed into his crotch.

 _Like lunch for all of this week, it’s been so strange, but brilliantly strange in the sort of way you didn’t know you would like._

 _By Tuesday I had resolved to act normal around Lance because he seemed so nervous, so I started lunch by asking him to buy me a pop like usual and he did but when he came back he gave me my money back too and said it was on him. So he’s bought my drinks for this week and every time I try to pay him back he just smiles at me and rubs the back of his head and then pokes me and says “nah”._

 _I LOVE HIM IT IS GETTING OUT OF HAND._

Arthur responded immediately, pitching forward and kissing her, biting at her lower lip like he’d never done before. He’d always been so tentative, but this time, he kissed her with focus. Sophia leaned back and let him crawl up on top of her.

But he didn’t do anything - didn’t grab her boobs or slide a hand under her skirt, he just kissed her. Did every guy in world have to be led by the hand? “Honestly...” she said against Arthur’s lips, and started unzipping her dress until he noticed.

Arthur pulled back from her mouth, his hands cupping her face, and his eyes trailed down her throat to her chest. He almost shook his head a bit, like he was clearing a fog, but then he smiled.

 _But the rest of the time we just talked about normal stuff. Like day before yesterday we grossed everyone else out at lunch talking about the similarities in body horror in Akira and Black Swan. Arthur was green by the end of it._

Sophia laughed and took one of Arthur’s hands from her cheek and pushed it down her chest along with the top of her dress. She’d worn her fanciest bra on purpose, of course. Arthur thumbed under the fabric - spangled with lace stars - tracing the swell of her breast.

He pinched down on her nipple, hard, and she gasped. He certainly hadn’t done _that_ when they were together before. Clearly she owed one of his ex-girlfriends a big thank you.

She leaned up against the arm of the couch and reached behind herself. Arthur beat her to it, though, unhooking her bra with a twist of his fingers, and looking inordinately proud of himself as she let the straps fall off her shoulders.

“Don’t look so pleased,” she said, “it’s not rocket science.”

“No, it’s just -” he huffed, “It’s not like I get much practice in.”

“No?” She lifted her leg, expecting to find an erection to rub her calf against, but was nudged out of the way when Arthur buried his face in her breasts, splaying out beside her on the leather cushions.

He seemed intent on getting her off, not that she was complaining, of course, but she wondered who had taken Arthur to task about it. He’d always seen to her before, but he’d never gone about it with such... determination.

Arthur played with Sophia’s breasts with a single-mindedness that he rarely displayed. He held one in his hand, playing over a nipple, suckling on the other, licking the underside with his tongue, and the whole time Sophia was wedged against the couch in such a way that she couldn’t really do much but play with his hair.

He _did_ have nice hair, she contemplated, rubbing the back of his neck and scraping along Arthur’s ears.

Arthur shuddered a bit and he unlatched himself from her breast with a pop. He blinked and then scrambled up to kiss her again, his other hand straying down to rub at her knee.

Sophia was starting to wonder if he’d ever get his trousers off when he travelled his hand up to press along her thighs, rustling her crumpled skirts in the process.

 _Arthur’s been weird this week, actually - he’s gotten back together with Sophia and I don’t know what that’s really about, because she was the one to do the dumping last time according to her (Arthur had no comment on the matter except that she was a “mad harpy”) but I’ve decided I like her! She’s really observant. Arthur seems to like her still, too, because he was practically sitting in her lap by lunch today._

She’d managed to get three of his buttons undone when she felt his fingers run boldly along the wet spot on her panties.

If it was going to be like that, bugger pacing herself. She might as well enjoy it, she supposed, and tugged her knickers out of the way. Arthur stopped kissing her neck to untangle them from her legs and tossed them over the side of the couch.

Without preamble he slid his hand back up her thighs and worked one finger along her cunt, pressing little pulses into her clit with his thumb. Well then! Arthur was looking her in the eye, one eyebrow furrowed, but when she spread her legs to let him get closer he dropped his head to her cleavage.

“Can I,” he mumbled into the top of her breast, “I want to -”

“Sure, yeah, do you have condoms? I didn’t bring any, I thought -”

“No, can I... I really wanna eat you out, Soph...” He kissed down her chest and scraped his teeth lightly over her soft stomach to where her dress was bunched up.

 _Anyway to the MORE IMPORTANT STUFF, Lance told me he’d pick me up this afternoon so I ran home like a madwoman and tried on the entire contents of my closet and did my hair seven times and then finally I asked Elyan for his opinion._

 _Elyan was not best pleased. But he said Lance liked my hair when it was down. WHEN DID LANCE AND ELYAN EVER TALK ABOUT MY HAIR? Still freaking out about that._

 _So I shook out my hair and then my door rang and Lance was there and he. was wearing. A SUIT. Like a proper suit with a TIE. And he smelled gorgeous. He’s GORGEOUS. I know you know he’s gorgeous, I’ve told you a million times, and I’ve seen him in a suit before but this was a suit for ME and I died._

“Oh, well, in that case,” she said, standing up.

“What?” Arthur blinked at her from the couch, rumpled and perplexed. “Where are you going? Soph, I didn’t mean - if you don’t want me to - I can brush my teeth?”

Sophia wriggled and her dress dropped to the floor. She bent down, deliberately showing her arse to Arthur, and picked up all her clothes. With fingers hooked into her shoes, she gestured to the stairs. “Come on, you numpty. I just want to move this to somewhere with more pillows.”

Arthur scrambled up off the couch. Why was he still dressed? Sophia pouted, grabbed him by the belt-loop, and hauled him along behind her.

 _Because he also brought me FLOWERS. He brought me LILIES, because it’s almost Easter, and he smiled all crinkly and said that way I wouldn’t have to bother putting them in water and they would keep blooming longer and he put the pot on the kitchen counter and he put a little water on them from the tap. He was just walking around our flat like it was entirely normal for him to have brought me flowers and wear a suit and have wet fingers and he seemed to catch himself because there was a moment when I could tell he was going to open the fridge and grab a coke and head to the living room to watch tv with me but then he stopped really abruptly and looked at me, up and down, like he hadn’t noticed me before._

 _He went all blushing and red and wiped his wet hand on his trousers and I rushed up to hand him a tea towel but it was already too late so he just sort of squeezed one end of the towel and I held on to the other end and he said “ Gwen, you’re beautiful” HE SAID THAT RIGHT THERE IN MY KITCHEN TO ME AND IT WAS REAL._

 _!!!!!!!!_

Arthur’s room hadn’t changed that much since they were together - a few new trophies, a different computer. It was messier too; he used to be a stickler for putting things away, but there was a box of Doctor Who DVDs strewn across his desk and a pair of red pants hanging off the edge of his bed.

Sophia didn’t care. She just pulled the duvet down, flicking the pants onto the floor along with it, and climbed onto the mattress. She propped herself up on a few pillows and spread her legs, dragged her nails up her thigh and gestured to Arthur.

He just stood there, looking gormless.

“Get over here.”

“Ah, yeah, I -” Arthur put his knees on the bed and shuffled over.

“Why do you still have all of these _on_?” Sophia asked, tugging at his sleeves. Arthur finally started shrugging his way out of his shirt. Sophia ran his hands along his chest. He’d put on some muscle since last she’d gotten her hands on him like this. She brushed a nipple with her nail and he jumped. Interesting...

“So I can?” Arthur asked, distracting her. “It’ll be great.” And without waiting for a response he knelt down, kissing his way past her bellybutton.

“By all means,” she said, a little breathless as he hiked her leg over his shoulder. She felt a hot breath against the inside of her thigh, and then he tightened his grip on her bum, nosing right above her clitoris and licked her with broad, wet swipes of his tongue.

 _It got crazier. My dad showed up to say hi and instead of Lance talking about a group outing or something he told Dad he was taking me “out on a date, if you’ll let me.”_

 _Dad paused or something because he didn’t respond right away? But Lance didn’t wait, he suddenly got all determined like his face got all stony and he told Dad that I’d already accepted and that it would be disrespectful towards me to not let me go out and for a split second I thought Lance might start on one of his rambles about heteronormative double standards and how everyone should be held to the same level of respect and honour but THANK GOD Dad just started to laugh. He said “sure, have fun, don’t stay out too late” and then to my enormous horror he WINKED at me and walked back out of the kitchen, still laughing._

 _I’d told Elyan earlier that we were going to double with Arthur and Sophia and he’d frowned, but I guess instead of threatening Lance some more he just decided to hide so after I got my purse Lance and I left. ON OUR DATE. HELLO, STILL NOT OVER IT._

Arthur was making little groans, wiggling into the mattress. Sophia buried a hand in his hair and relaxed back, revelling in his concentrated attentions. He’d previously only done this after she’d already given him head, making it a matter of honour for him to reciprocate. But this time he’d offered, and he circled around her clit with the tip of his tongue and dipped two fingers into her, until she was pushing up into his mouth rhythmically.

 _The drive was really quiet. I think Lance had had a plan and then forgot what it was because he didn’t have anything to talk about all of a sudden and hadn’t put on any music or anything. So I was kind of freaking out because, was it awkward for him? It was awkward for me! But then we stopped at a red light and Lance looked over at me and I couldn’t HANDLE it so I must have made some sort of mad face and to keep from launching myself at him and crashing the car I bit down on the flat of my own hand and Lance chuckled and then the rest of the drive was really quiet but the normal sort of quiet that Lance and me do sometimes._

 _We met Arthur and Sophia outside the restaurant. Sophia gave me this oppressed sort of look but she was dressed to the nines, way fancier than me. Later in the bathroom she told me Arthur hadn’t stopped babbling the entire way there. I think she’s going to dump him again. Either that or they’ll get married._

Arthur had moved into some kind of complicated figure eight with his tongue, which Sophia certainly appreciated. But she was starting to feel restless.

“Come on, let me -” she rubbed at Arthur’s shoulders, urging him up. “Why are you _still_ wearing trousers?” She pushed him over, straddling his calves as she unbuttoned him.

Arthur had babbled the entire drive to the restaurant. Hell, he’d babbled the entire previous week, going on about god knows what as he pulled her back into his group of friends every lunch, but he wasn’t being chatty anymore. His lips were swollen and glistening, and he licked them curiously as she pushed his pants down.

He was only half-hard. Sophia was definitely going to have to rectify that, and bent in to lick at the head of his cock. He put his hands on her shoulders and neck as she kissed down his shaft and hummed. Maybe he was tired? But she worked it into her mouth and licked along the underside until he was completely hard. She pulled off and looked up at him with a satisfied grin. Arthur’s eyes were squeezed shut.

“You should keep doing what you were doing, I think,” she said, rolling his balls playfully between her fingers.

“Oh, but, you wanted -”

“Lie down. I have an idea.” She unhooked her leg from where it had twined around his calf and crawled down the bed beside him, letting him paw at her thighs and settle in until they were back around his shoulders.

 _I’ve never been on a date like this before, Diary. It was like something out of a movie. To wit:_

 _\- Lance pulled out and pushed in my chair for me when we got a table._

He started licking at her almost immediately, with that same determination as he’d shown down on the couch, but he twitched and faltered when she grabbed his bum to steady herself and sucked the head of his cock into her mouth.

 _\- It was Italian and even though Lance loves garlic bread and Arthur got a double order Lance didn’t touch it and every time he reached toward it he looked at me and went back to his drink._

Sophia squeezed his arse again and was rewarded with a muffled groan. She pull away from his cock, stroking it in one hand as she licked her fingers.

 _\- Lance made a whole production out of figuring out what I wanted to get and then ordering for the both of us. It made me feel squirmily taken care of, and kind of guilty, because I am perfectly capable of ordering my own dinner, but when he got my order right he looked so proud. _

She’d always loved this, the idea that a guy could be penetrated too, and she smiled before licking Arthur’s balls back into her mouth, and pressing in between the cheeks of his arse with her wet fingers. He gasped, freezing mid-lick as she circled his hole. Arthur moved, bending his hips in, giving her access. She pressed in a finger and felt a spurt of pre-come hit her cheek. She grinned and wrapped her lips around him again.

 _\- When I got up to go to the ladies’, Lance shot up out of his chair like he was some sort of Victorian gentleman. Arthur laughed at him and almost snorted pop up his nose, but when Sophia and I came back, they BOTH stood up until we’d sat back down. I don’t know what Lance said to Arthur but after that he seemed sort of distracted because Sophia got a bit handsy with him. I really didn’t care because after Lance had pushed in my chair for me he’d slid his closer and our knees were touching._

“Soph, Soph, I’m gonna-”

Arthur tried to pull away from her mouth. He was being rather gentlemanly but Sophia wasn’t having any of _that_. She hooked her finger a bit, tugging at his rim, and drew him in closer with a palm on his arse.

He let out a frustrated little “ah!” as his hips stuttered forward, and he came, bitter, onto her tongue.

 _\- Lance kept making sure I was involved in the conversation because every time he and Arthur started in on the cricket goss he abruptly changed the subject to something he knew I cared about. So I took a deep breath and told him I didn’t mind thinking about him in his cricket trousers and to please go on, for my sake, and Arthur almost spat garlic bread out across the table._

She allowed Arthur a moment to relax, panting against the inside of her thigh. As soon as he’d caught his breath, she tightened her legs around his head.

“Get on with it Arthur.” She poked him in the side with her foot.

 _\- Then I had to eat my pizza one-handed because Lance hooked his pinkie around mine under the table and I almost fell out of my chair but he kept DOING it every time I put my hand back near his._

Sophia reached down to massage her clit while Arthur worked at her with his tongue and fingers. Little tendrils of pleasure curled through her as they worked together. Her feet arched against his back and she pressed her cunt onto his face, shuddering around his fingers as she came.

 _It felt like the longest dinner ever but also it went super fast. I kind of felt like “is that it?” but also really tired. Because Diary, it wasn’t very late but I wanted to move things along, it was weird! I think I just wanted to kiss Lance so bad... But Lance had planned the date so we were going to a poetry reading down the road._

Arthur licked her through her orgasm, trailing his hands down to grasp at her waist, leaving a sticky smear up her side. She nuzzled his softening cock in appreciation.

They rearranged themselves so they were both resting against the pillows.

“Had something to prove, did we?” She rubbed her palm up his chest and patted him. “Not that I’m complaining. So was this a one-time deal, or...?”

 _Arthur was apparently new to the plan. He said something like “I’d rather take it up the arse” and then I guess he realized he was being a bad date and asked Sophia if she wanted to go and a bad friend to me because he asked if I wouldn’t mind going with just Lance. Well more he told me that I wouldn’t mind, but it was true and he was flustered so I decided to let it slide. And then he stood there awkwardly until Sophia appeared to take pity on him._

 _She said that her father had her on strict curfew and she wouldn’t want to have us cut our night short for her sake, and didn’t think we’d want to have to take Arthur home since he lived across town, and dragged him off. She didn’t even try to lie well._

“Yep, I’ve still got it,” Arthur declared. But then he yawned. It wasn’t even midnight. She figured it was probably all that being polite and helpful to Lance and Gwen that had exhausted him. Or possibly the mind-blowing orgasm she’d given him, but she doubted it.

Then Arthur appeared to realize she’d asked him a question. “Oh, yes. Um. I mean no, that is, not a one-time deal. If that’s what you want. I know you’re busy but we’ve got Easter break so...”

“Nah, I won’t be too busy.” Sophia got up and began picking through the pile of clothes on the floor. “We should do something.”

 _Lance laughed at the fact that her hand was on Arthur’s bum when they walked away from us, but then we were by ourselves and he helped me on with my coat and then held my hand all the way to the poetry reading, which was at this coffee shop a block away, and someone was playing a violin on the street for money, and Lance gave her a pound, and it was warm and if I hadn’t nearly tripped over the sidewalk on the way there I would have been convinced I was dreaming and wow Lance makes me write a lot of run-on sentences!_

She could taste herself on his lips when she kissed him, feeling oddly fond of him as he watched her wiggle into her panties. “Bathroom’s in here, right?” She pointed to the door.

Arthur waggled his head in a way she chose to interpret as a nod. She fully expected him to be up and dressed when she returned, refreshed, but he was still lying there naked, with an arm thrown over his eyes.

“Hey,” she said, pulling his arm away. “I’ll call you soon. I had fun tonight.” She kissed him goodbye and let herself out.

 _I don’t remember the poetry. Evidently it was spring-themed. It really didn’t matter? Because we drank our tea on a little couch and OH GOD I HAVE JUST REALIZED IT WAS A LOVESEAT, I AM GOING TO DIE, and Lance put his ARM around me and we totally cuddled in public and I thought to myself that everybody there knew we were on a DATE._

 _I’ve just flipped back through you, Diary, and I have done calculations, and apparently I have known my feelings about Lance for upwards of three years. Even when he was all spotty. Do you think he’s felt the same way? Because he wasn’t acting like anything was new. Does that make sense? Obviously everything was new but it seemed like he’d thought a lot about everything, for a really long time beforehand. Maybe I’m projecting. Am I projecting?_

Sophia didn’t _actually_ have a curfew; her daddy trusted her to behave.

“Did you have fun tonight, sweetie?” he asked, when she found him reading in the living room with his pipe.

“Yes, I did.” She sat down on the arm of his chair and gave him a kiss on his temple. “Oh Daddy, you remember Arthur, don’t you?”

“Was he the cricketer? Did he look after you properly?”

Sophia petted his hair. “He’s a numpty sometimes, but I think we’ll have a fun Easter break together. If that’s alright with you?”

“Just don’t let him give you any guff, duckie.”

“No, it’s okay. He’s been looking after me this time.” She tugged his beard. “Not that I can’t look after myself, of course.”

“You just see that he behaves. Now off to bed with you, pet.” He put his pipe back between his teeth and lifted up his book.

 _All I know is that when he drove me home he jumped out of the car and opened my door and then walked me to the front door with a hand at the small of my back. And he loosened his tie and swallowed a lot and I didn’t know what to do so I just stood there like pile of rubbish and stared at him. And he said “I had a really good time tonight, would you like to do it again sometime.”_

 _LIKE NOT A QUESTION, but like he was reading from a script, and that cracked me up! So I laughed at him because I am the worst but when I caught his face he looked utterly stricken and that’s what made me kiss him._

 _I think I kind of ravished him a little. I’m not going to apologize for it. There was definitely some groping happening on his part at the end there, which was nice._

 _Lance is the best kisser, even when he’s taken by surprise. He regained his balance almost right away, and WHO AM I KIDDING_

 _WE KISSED WE KISSED WE KISSED! !!!!! IT WAS LIKE SNOGGING A SEXY ANGEL!_

 _We’re gonna spend time together over Easter break. Last week our plan was to trade all our graphic novels and read each other’s while lying around, but I’m fairly sure that plan has changed. Well Lance can lend me the full run of Marvel Zombies but I really don’t care, I’m not going to read any of them if he’s nearby._

 _I’m so tired but I’m not going to get any sleep tonight at all!_

 _Hearts and Flowers,  
Gwen_

Sophia brushed her hair at her vanity mirror. She hadn’t been lying when she’d told Arthur she had had fun. Gwen was sweet and funny and never flinched, no matter what the topic. And it was endearing to watch Lance bumble around her, utterly besotted.

Whereas Arthur had just stuffed garlic bread into his mouth, but that was likely for the best. He had been talking a lot of rubbish recently.

She’d been flitting between friends for a couple years, ever since she’d dumped Arthur, but maybe she’d be happy with this group finally. Certainly, some of them were good fun. She played the trombone with Elyan, who had always been a bit of a mystery to her, but turned out to be rather gorgeous. Plus he made fantastic eye-candy at lunchtimes.

There was Leon and Percival and a few others, but Arthur’s friend Merlin didn’t seem to ever make an appearance any more. Maybe he’d finally found his own friends?

She set her brush down with a sigh. Her feet hurt from trotting about in heels all evening. Dating was fun, she supposed, but most of the time it just seemed like too much hassle. Though this arrangement with Arthur seemed like it might work out. A quick, enthusiastic fuck had been just what she wanted, none of this clingy cuddling afterwards. If she played her cards right, Arthur would make a fantastic fuckbuddy.

 


	4. Rites of Passage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin mopes, Arthur strops and Hunith reminisces about gay penguins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for very mild homophobia and a touch of blasphemy.
> 
> Also posted [on livejournal](http://mintandhoney.livejournal.com/3438.html).

Hunith was bloody well tired of her only son moping up the place on what was supposed to be a lovely holiday weekend.

Oh, he was trying to hide it, she knew well. Merlin bumbled about the house, grinning too wide and forgetting to crinkle his eyes, singing along deliberately poorly to the old records he had liked best when he had been eleven. She’d caught him staring at nothing in odd moments, though, and the amount of sleep he’d been getting for the past week outmatched a normal teenage boy’s needs by miles. When your seventeen year old son willingly highs himself to bed at nine in the evening on the Thursday before a bank holiday, you know something’s afoot.

Good Friday didn’t mean too much to the Emrys household. Hunith worked from home for the most part these days, so the holiday really just meant she wouldn’t be getting phone calls from the office demanding impossible things. And Arthur, well, his father would finally be home on this Friday, so she knew he wasn’t to be coming over. And Merlin tended to avoid Uther’s enforced family time as much he could.

The tradition was, Hunith cooked something that demanded watched pots, and then Merlin would call Arthur to make sure he wasn’t scaring the neighbours, and on Sunday they’d have chocolate bunnies, depending on Merlin’s outlook that year, Hunith might get to listen to her son mumble something about Zombie Jesus.

It was always nice, when her boy spoke his own mind about things, even if he did tend towards the macabre.

This morning, Merlin had been up before breakfast - by-product of an early night, it seemed - all tousle-haired and warm. He’d shuffled up to Hunith, chopping strawberries into her yogurt, and _leaned_ against her side, like he hadn’t done for possibly years.

“Hedge?” She brought a hand up to the back of his neck, a weight to push him a bit closer. He stood taller than her now, and he bent his head into her shoulder. “You’re awake early, something wrong?”

Merlin had yawned, then, scrunching his face. “Nothin’,” he mumbled. “Just a nightmare. Tea?”

So he’d made tea for the both of them, and once caffeinated, had launched out of his chair to bumble about in the garden with a book. Regardless of whatever was wrong, Hunith knew she wasn’t going to pry it out of him. Merlin had a stubborn streak a mile wide and fathoms deep. Maybe the next time Arthur was over, she’d ask him. It wasn’t like she’d stop worrying either way.

It was a brilliant risotto, if she said so herself, which she did. There were fresh green peas stirred in, and loads of the good parmesan, and fragrant porcinis. The chicken had roasted to a perfect brown crisp, the rosemary crackling in the pan drippings and the carrots caramelizing gold. It was too bad it was only the two of them to share it all, but she was proud all the same, and Merlin was _always_ hungry. Even when he was sad.

He gave her a kiss on the cheek before tucking in, much to her shock. Hunith blushed red, pleased that he’d done it without being prompted, but then hurriedly realized something must be truly, drastically wrong.

Best not push it, then.

Well, maybe push it a little.

She swallowed a mouthful of risotto. “You’ve been awfully quiet about school lately.”

Merlin looked up from his carrots. “Oh, um, have I?” He drew lines onto the tablecloth with the back of his butter knife, “I got a B on that makeup chem test, so Mr. Muirden says there’s still hope for me, yet.” He worked up a smile for her. “I know I was thinking last year that I might want to do physics in uni but if I can’t handle covalent bonds without Ar- if I can’t manage to remember what an isotope is...” He trailed off, shovelling risotto into his mouth. “Th’sgood, M’m.” He pointed to it with his spoon; a pea dropped off onto the table with a small splut.

Hunith kept quiet, just nodded and worked on a chicken wing.

After some furious chewing and swallowing, Merlin peered at her. “Mum,” he started, “you know I wouldn’t lie to you about school stuff, yeah?”

“Oh, I know.”

“Well then what’s the prying for, then?”

“A mother can’t want to make sure her dear, beloved, _only_ son is happy?” She clutched a hand to her bosom, just for effect.

But Merlin’s face shuttered. He reached over for a drumstick and chomped around it, making sure to keep his mouth full so he wouldn’t have to reply.

So Hunith ate quietly, until the both of them sat back, pleasantly stuffed. Merlin wasn’t miraculously cured by the love in a mother’s cooking, but he did look a bit dazed and relaxed. He picked idly at a crackle of chicken skin, bringing it to his mouth to nibble, as if it were dessert.

“Do you want to call Arthur now or later?,” Hunith said as she stretched in her chair.

Merlin fumbled, dropped his titbit back onto his plate. “What?!”

“You always call him. To make sure having forced family dinner ‘fun time’ with his father and sister hasn’t made him set fire to the drapes, or anything.”

“Why would I do _that_? He’s not going to - he’ll probably - it doesn’t matter.” Merlin hunched up in his seat.

Ah-ha! The root of the matter!

Oh god.

This called for chocolate. Or something stronger. Hunith shoved herself up and gathered her plate. “Come along, bring the dishes.”

She didn’t wait to see if he followed her. She took out a pint of chocolate ice cream and scooped two bowls. And then Hunith poured a few drams of scotch onto hers, and pocketed the bottle for later use.

Hunith found him still at the table, curved over his plate with his elbows on the cloth. He was tapping his feet along the wooden legs, rolling his knuckles along his napkin, a restless arc in a hoodie and jeans. But he hadn’t cleared the dishes, hadn’t moved an inch. She pulled his plate away and replaced it with the bowl of ice cream, and settled in the chair next to his with her adult version.

On reflex, Merlin took up the spoon and carved a slice into his dessert.

“Mum,” he started again, “I don’t think Arthur and I are friends anymore.”

“Oh. Now, that’s a bit drastic I’m sure.”

Arthur and Merlin had been in numerous fights and fallings-out over their friendship. For god’s sake, they’d started as sworn, ruddy-cheeked, enemies, making each other miserable in after-school care thrice weekly. It hadn’t taken too long for that to change. And it would change again.

“It’s not drastic. You don’t know.” Merlin huffed, and gave her suspiciously-hued ice cream a look. “You don’t know what’s wrong.”

Hunith shrugged, to put him at ease. “Well if you’d just _tell me_ , darling boy...”

“I am not darling.”

“And you’re barely a boy, at that.” She unpocketed the scotch. A trade, she thought, was in order, as she poured a few drops onto Merlin’s ice cream.

“Mum, are you plying me with alcohol to get me to spill my secrets?” He ate carefully along the rivulet the scotch had made.

She smiled around her spoon. “Is it working?”

“Probably.” Merlin snorted. He dabbed his fingers into the bowl and licked them nervously. “I like Arthur,” he declared abruptly.

“Well I should hope so! Why aren’t you friends anymore?”

“No, I mean...” Merlin sighed. “Arthur’s dating Sophia again. Had a date last night. With Gwen and Lance. According to Lance’s text this morning, Arthur left early with Soph and biffed off to god knows where. To... snog, no doubt.”

Merlin had always been rather protective of Arthur. Hunith knew he hadn’t liked Sophia, his first “proper” girlfriend, but that was no reason to break a seven year friendship, and she told him so. “How would you like it if Arthur stopped being your friend just because you were dating a girl he didn’t like?”

Merlin didn’t respond right away, just polished off his ice cream and clinked the spoon against the empty bowl, trying to make up his mind about something. He opened his mouth, and then closed it, blinking rapidly.

Enough of this.

“Out with it. We’ve only got each other, you know.” It was something she’d said too many times.

He rested a cheek on the table, looking worn despite not having done a thing all day apart from mope. “What if I wasn’t dating a girl?” Merlin’s voice cracked. “What if I was dating a _boy_?” His eyes flicked up to her, and he poked the handle of her spoon with a finger.

“Oh.” Hunith stood up suddenly, needing to be on her feet. “Oh, look what a mess we’ve made of the table.” She started fussing with the pans and swiping crumbs into her napkin. Merlin stayed still, watching her hands work.

As he waited for her to respond, he sniffled loudly.

She sighed and sat down slowly beside him. How had she missed something like this? “I might have a couple of pamphlets? I got a whole bundle of them when I fact-checked that book about the gay penguins. Remember the gay penguins, Merlin?”

“I am not a penguin.”

“No of course not, you’re my hedgehog.” She stroked a hand through his hair. “Arthur’s not a bigot, is he? He wouldn’t care if you were gay...” Hunith caught herself. She was speaking in hypotheticals and she could see Merlin’s pulse pounding away in that long neck of his. She rested a hand on it, smoothing up to his hair. He closed his eyes. “Merlin, you know I don’t mind who you love, as long as they love you back, and realise what a wonderful young man you are.”

“D’you mean that?” he mumbled, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

“Of course I do!” Why hadn’t he been comfortable telling her this before? When had he stopped talking to her about everything? “Should I be sewing you rainbow curtains for your bedroom? I will, if you like. Not sure where to get the fabric but Matt at the office might...”

“Mum.” Merlin grumbled, though he was smiling, a bit.

Hunith stood up and hauled Merlin to his feet. “You have to give your mum a hug, now. It’s the rules.”

“But I don’t even know if I’m-”

“It’s the rules!” Hunith declared, and wound herself tightly against him.

They stayed hugging for a few moments too long, Merlin’s elbows poking her in the arms. Eventually they sat back down, Hunith pouring herself two fingers of scotch and letting Merlin sip at it before sliding it back to her. He swallowed it smoothly, like he was used to it. She wondered if this bottle was the same one she had purchased, or if it was a replacement.

“Now, what’s this to do with Arthur? He’s a nice boy I’m sure you could tell him too... Or is this why you... don’t care for Sophia?”

Merlin blanched a bit, losing what colour he’d regained.

“If Sophia’s been calling you names, Merlin, just because you’re gay-”

“I’m not! I don’t know, I like girls too, it’s just. No! Sophia doesn’t hate gay people. She’s friends with Morgause, for god’s sake. It’s not... it’s not her.”

“Well then I’m sure we can work it out whatever it is, you’ve always been brave...” Hunith knew that these problems weren’t solved like this, with some kind of plan of attack, but she was his mother, and she had to _try_.

Merlin glowered. “It’s Arthur.”

“But he’s always so... I don’t know, _reasonable_ when you get to him, why wouldn’t you be able to talk to him about this?” Arthur was a foolish young man but he at least had the good sense to listen to Merlin most of the time. If he hadn’t convinced Merlin to listen to him, first.

“Mum, I told you. I-I like him.”

Ah. Oh. Um.

Hunith put on her best face and bluffed. “Like him, as in you fancy him?” She raised an eyebrow. Well, it wasn’t all that surprising when it came to Arthur. Merlin had always been a bit besotted with him, once they’d gotten used to each other.

But Merlin appeared to have reached the end of his tether and the end of his cool, because his eyes wavered and then welled up with tears, and then before she knew it, Hunith had a lapful of crying seventeen year old boy.

Merlin rubbed a shaky hand over his eyes. “Yes! As in fancy him! God! And he fancied me back, Mum!”

“He... did?”

“Y-yes! Except now he’s dating _Sophia_ and it’s just lovely I’m _sure_ and he refuses to acknowledge anything ever ha-happened!”

Hunith scrounged around for the cleanest napkin on the table and brought it to Merlin’s nose. “Blow,” she instructed, and then wiped his tears.

“And he’s my best friend, Mum! I’ve been eating lunch with _Gwaine_ all week, hiding, because of stupid fucking Arthur and his stupid fucking face, who used me like some kind of gay experiment, and as soon as a pair of _tits_ walks along...”

Hunith tutted. “Language, Merlin.”

“S-sorry.” Merlin sat back up, pushing away from her lap. “I didn’t mean, if he’s not, it’s just... I _miss_ him.” He wove his hands together in his lap.

“He’s not gone away, though.”

“Might as well have. I dunno. It’s the worst seeing him at school. Part of me wishes he would just disappear. I can’t be around him without thinking about... It’s probably hormones, right?”

“Even if it’s hormones, that doesn’t devalue a broken heart.”

Merlin blushed. “I’m not in _love_ with him, Mum.” And then he closed his eyes, swallowed. “You should tell me it gets better and things, now.”

Hunith patted his hand. “It gets better and things.”

“Thanks.”

“And I think, if Arthur’s got half your courage, and a quarter of your kindness, that he’d like to be your best friend still, even if you occasionally ogle him in his footie kit.”

“ _Mum_!”

“Well, don’t you?”

“It never even _occurred_ to me!”

Hunith laughed. “Well it has now. Trials and tribulations, all that.”

That earned her a proper glare.

“There we go. Already on our way back to normal. Or what passes for normal in this house, yes?” Hunith patted his knee. “You’ll be able to work through this, I know it. Arthur wouldn’t give up _me_ , after all.”

* * *

It took until Sunday for Hunith to take drastic action. Merlin had smiled wanly at her after their chat on Friday, but continued flopping about like a beached whale all weekend. Was this his entire plan for Easter break, with the occasional nap thrown in? It would not do.

She found him in the living room, not actually watching television, and poked him in the arm with the telephone. “This is what we’re going to do,” she said, sitting down next to him. “You’re going to call Arthur, and ask him to hang out with you over break, because I cannot abide you melting all over your grandmother’s upholstery for the entire week.”

Merlin looked aghast. Hunith stole the remote from his lap and turned off the telly. She glared back until Merlin plucked the phone from her hand. He glared at the keypad, and angrily dialled in Arthur’s number. He kept up his glare until she could hear the ringing stop and the murmur of someone picking up on the other end, at which point he paled and curled into the chair, away from her.

“Hithisis MerlinEmrys speaking canI talkto Arthurplease,” he blurted out.

Hunith stifled a laugh. It wouldn’t do to make fun.

“...I know it’s you, berk.”

“...Yeah well.” Merlin traced the tweedy pattern of the armchair with a finger. “My mum wants to know - it’s not funny, Arthur!”

“...It was just I wanted to know if you wanted to maybe hang out over break? If you’ve got the time...”

“Ask him if he’d like to come round for tea!” Hunith suggested.

Merlin rounded on her and shushed. “Shut up!” he said, and then blushed. “Not you Mum. Arthur. Yes. She’s right here. ...No. ...I didn’t...”

This was unbearable. “Give me the phone,” Hunith said. She reached out her hand. Merlin pushed it away. “Look, just, you’re being - give it here!” She lunged for it.

“- total Mummy’s boy, did you tell her about Gwaine too?”

“Hello dear,” Hunith said, pushing Merlin away, back to his chair.

“Oh! Hi Mrs. Emrys. Did you have a good Easter?”

“No actually, because my son is under the impression that you are no longer his friend.” She arched an eyebrow at Merlin, who was crossing his arms and fuming like a five year old.

It took Arthur a moment to reply. When he did, his tone had changed. “Well that’s interesting cos last I knew, he was the one no longer friends with me.”

“Now he tells me that you two had a bit of a tiff.” At that, Arthur huffed into the phone. “So I’m going to drop him at yours on Wednesday. That’s _cool_ with you, yes?”

She could see Merlin rolling his eyes at her. He mimed choking to death and fell across the chair, tongue lolling out his mouth.

“Um. Sure? That’d be... cool.”

“Now listen, Arthur, I will miss you very much if you don’t come round any more so you and Merlin need to work this out! Do you understand? You’ve been friends for too long and I won’t have you not accepting him for who he is!”

Merlin gaped at her, too horrified to do more than gurgle. “MUM!” he choked out. “Give me the phone!”

“...Yes Mrs. Emr-” Arthur’s voice fell away as Merlin wrestled the phone back.

“Sorry about- No you know she’s just... Yeah. Idunno... Eleven? …Sure man. Yep. Bye.”

Merlin hung up the phone with a soft beep, and stared at it in his lap. He rubbed a foot along his calf in agitation. Hunith stayed in her seat despite wanting to demand another hug. “That wasn’t so bad, right?”

“Praise Zombie Jesus,” Merlin declared, “It’s an Easter Miracle,” and flicked back on the television set.

TBC.


	5. Lessons In Jousting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Merlin is churlish and Arthur enjoys himself thoroughly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for: mild homophobia, misuse of household items, potentially harmful masturbatory practices and poor posture.
> 
> Also posted [on livejournal](http://mintandhoney.livejournal.com/3605.html).

Arthur was still covered in shaving foam when the doorbell rang. Merlin never usually arrived on time - though he also usually didn’t ring the doorbell; he either let himself in or called Arthur’s mobile. He wiped the last smudges of foam from under his ears and trudged downstairs. This was going to be fucking awkward.

Merlin was slouched sullenly against the doorframe with his arms crossed, steadfastly ignoring Hunith’s waves from the open widow of her car. “‘lo.”

“You just going to stand there?”

Hunith honked from behind, making Merlin jump. He shoved past Arthur into the foyer and through to the living room, where he slumped straight onto a couch. Arthur gave a half-hearted wave to Hunith as she drove off.

Oh yes, it was going to be a _delightful_ day.

“So. What d’you wanna do?” Arthur plonked himself onto the other couch, drumming his fingers against the leather cushions and avoiding Merlin’s eyes.

“I dunno. This was a stupid idea.”

Arthur waited for a moment, but Merlin provided no other answer, so he turned on the telly. Weekday daytime programming wasn’t ideal, but it filled the silence. He hadn’t done much over the break - just a couple of meals with Morgana here and there, and the odd fling with Sophia. They’d been at a party last night, though they’d not made much of an appearance - they’d scampered off to Mary’s parents’ bedroom not long after they arrived.

Merlin was glaring churlishly at the wall behind the telly. It was weird having him in the house again, not that it had been particularly long since he’d last been here, only… eleven days, but Arthur had spent the last nine of them trying to reconcile himself to the idea that Merlin might not come around much in the future.

However, he could only stand so much of watching some Scottish gran redecorate her house. “ _Inspired by Morocco! My stars, how lovely,_ ” she gushed. What twaddle. Arthur flomped onto his side in desperation. He would just have to engage Merlin in conversation, and that would be that.

“So. Been up to much in the holidays?”

Merlin didn’t look at him. “Huh? Um. Not much, no.”

“Yeah, me neither. Went to a party last night.”

Merlin grunted.

“Convince your mum to let you get a car yet?”

“Nup.”

Arthur let out a slow breath. “That’s a shame. It’d be good if you had one, don’t you think?”

Merlin didn’t respond. The Scottish gran was now discussing wallpaper, showing putrid floral designs to the camera. Arthur felt a desire to shred the couch cushions.

Fine. If that’s how it was going to be, fine.

“You came out to your mum then? That was fast.” He kept his tone flat. “I expect you’ll be sucking blokes off on the regular, then?”

Merlin’s head jerked round. “Wha- Um. What? No, you stupid tosser.”

Arthur smirked, earning him a scowl.

“What the fuck d’you say that for? It’s not like I meant to. You know Mum can get anything out of me if she’s on a mission.”

“Well yeah, but why’d she need to know?” Arthur sat up and tucked his legs beneath himself.

“I dunno, we were just talking about stuff and it came up.”

“Did you tell her about... um, the stuff we did?”

“Christ, no! Do you think I’m suicidal? The woman wouldn’t let me out of her sight again if she knew.”

Arthur chuckled. “Yeah, she’d lock you up and install a cat-flap in your bedroom door.”

“Yeah, an’ give me just enough chain to get to the loo.” Merlin grinned over at him, a brief flash of dimples and crinkly eyes, before he realised what he was doing and his expression dropped.

They fell back onto their respective couches, the laughter quickly dying.

“I told her you were with Sophia now anyway,” Merlin said, picking at a seam in his jeans with a ragged nail. The Scottish gran chirped away in the background. “You should be safe.”

“M’not _with_ her, we’re just mess- it’s just casual, yeah?”

Merlin arched an eyebrow. “Workin’ out well for you, then?” He crossed his arms.

Arthur shrugged uncomfortably. “Yeah, I ‘spose. It passes the time.” Merlin found a sudden interest in his shoelaces. “Look,” Arthur pushed himself off the couch, “I know it’s early, but d’you want a sandwich or something? I haven’t eaten breakfast yet; I’m starving.”

It was a lie, but he couldn’t stand the awkward silence. He strode off through to the kitchen and began piling ingredients on the island.

With Morgana back for the holiday, they were well-stocked. She spent most of her time out of the house, though, visiting god knew who - various angry, feminist friends probably, oh, and Gwen, who wasn’t nearly as angry about it. But there were still all sorts of strange things the cook knew she liked in the fridge, like sprouts and whatever. Did Merlin like sprouts? He’d forgotten. Arthur chucked them onto the chopping board.

He looked up from his sandwich assembly when he saw Merlin’s elbows slide into view. He was perched on a stool with his head on his hands, wanly observing as Arthur spread mustard and stacked ham.

Merlin reached out for a slice of toast and pulled it into his orbit, beginning to put together his own. He put slices of turkey directly onto the bread. Arthur cringed. “You’re doing it wrong.”

“Am not.”

“You didn’t even put anything on the bread first! You have to spread...” Arthur watched with distress as Merlin globbed some mayo on top of the turkey. “Just, give it here. I can’t stand watching you do this.” He pulled the plate back across the counter and tried to undo the mess, carefully spreading an even, thin layer of mayo on the bread.

“Since when did you like sprouts?” asked Merlin, making a face at the package.

“Eugh, never. You want any?”

“You kidding me?” Merlin swivelled on the stool to resume watching him. Arthur sliced a tomato for his own sandwich and didn’t put any on Merlin’s. That would be a no on the sprouts then.

They ate lunch in the kitchen with their elbows on the marble counter and Arthur tried very hard to pretend that the little darts of Merlin’s tongue to catch stray smears of mayonnaise were not distracting him at all.

“‘s good,” Merlin said, tipping his sandwich at Arthur in thanks.

“Well I couldn’t leave you on your own, god knows what you might create.”

“Shu’ up.” He tried to poke his tongue out, but his mouth was full of food, so he only managed to spill sandwich down his front. It was so much like normal, watching Merlin swipe at himself, it made Arthur reach out automatically to ruffle his hair. He faltered halfway to Merlin’s head, but it was too late to stop, and Merlin gave him a hesitant smile.

Things went a little easier after that. They abandoned their dishes, and Arthur had the bright suggestion that they play a video game, which was excellent for eliminating the need to make conversation, and also mind-bogglingly idiotic, because the Wii was in the rumpus room.

“Why are we playing Mario Kart, again?” Arthur asked, eyeing the PS3.

“Because you suck at it.” Merlin careened around Yoshi Circuit.

“I do not suck, you just always pick Toad first.”

“You can be Toad, too.” He bent himself sideways as he rounded a corner, and his shoulder bumped Arthur’s forearm.

“I can’t pick a character that’s already been picked!”

“Oh whatever, you anal bastard. Freya was right, you _do_ have OCD.”

“You talk to Freya about m- _how did you get those red shells_!?”

 _Clearly_ , Arthur didn’t suck at Mario Kart. Merlin was just preternaturally good at it, getting all the best items and having some kind of instinctual knowledge of when to drag and how to get the blue sparks. Obviously this was nothing Arthur could do anything about, but it still rankled him. Merlin hadn’t even managed to learn that turning his body didn’t translate to turning in the game, because he still kept bumping into Arthur’s shoulder on the sharp turns.

“Even if you can’t be Toad, you didn’t have to be Princess Rosalina. She can only drive the big slow cars.” Merlin sat back, basking in the glow of first place.

“Yeah, but when she drives over you, you go all flat like a pancake.”

“But you can’t ever lap me, so it doesn’t eve-oof!”

Arthur elbowed him off the couch, and Merlin landed with a small bounce on the carpet.

Merlin lifted his head and glared up at Arthur, the corners of his mouth twitching as he fought back a grin. He seemed to notice something under the couch then - an old remote or something, Arthur imagined - and he blushed bright red.

“What is it?”

“Oh, nothin’, don’t worry.” Merlin scrambled to his feet, eyes darting. “Come on, I’ll let you beat me at something else, or you’ll get all stroppy with me.”

Arthur shot him a puzzled look. “Alright, what d’you wanna play?”

“Doesn’t matter. Football or something?”

“Yeah, alright.”

Arthur’s garden, much like his house, was elaborate and unnecessarily large. There was even a gazebo, although Arthur had no idea what a gazebo was for. Luckily, along with flowers and trees and whatever else, there was a substantial stretch of lawn.

He was a little surprised that Merlin had suggested football, seeing as he could hardly walk across a flat surface without falling over, but it certainly didn’t bother him - he hadn’t wanted to be in the rumpus room any more than Merlin apparently did.

“Come on, one on one, Spendy. Reckon you can kick my arse?” Merlin flailed about, bouncing from side to side in a bizarre attempt of manly intimidation.

The spring afternoon was warm and sunny, and it was a relief to find he was having fun, dashing about together on the grass, even if Merlin couldn’t kick a ball to save himself.

“Do you even know how to defend? Have I taught you _nothing_?” Arthur said, as he easily darted past him for the umpteenth time.

“I’ve deliberately refused to learn.” Merlin swung his foot out, trying to knock the ball from under Arthur’s feet. “On principle.”

“Oh, excuses, excuses.”

On the next pass, Merlin managed to get his elbow under Arthur’s ribs and a foot between his ankles.

“Oi!” Arthur spluttered, as he stumbled and the ball spun away across the lawn, “you dirty little cheat.” He grabbed the back of Merlin’s shirt to steady himself, with the result that they both crashed spectacularly to the ground.

Merlin shoved a knee up into Arthur’s shin. “Cry more, somebody blow a whistle!”

“You’re like a hideous spiky squid!” Arthur cried, reaching around to crush Merlin’s face into the grass.

“Ah! Gerroff me! I am Cthulu, the elder god! Oww, my nose!”

Merlin got his foot free from under Arthur’s bottom and proceeded to kick him in the thigh.

“Oi!”

Arthur wriggled forward, pinning Merlin to the ground with a palm to the small of his back. He felt exhilarated as Merlin twisted and squirmed free. He had grass all through his dark hair, imprinted on his face, making little red lines. Merlin was gasping with laughter, his pulse beating through his wrinkled t-shirt as Arthur grappled his waist.

And then Merlin was rolling on top of him, giggling wildly as Arthur tried to push his face away with his palm and then his knee, up under Merlin’s stomach, and he slipped. Merlin tried to shove at his head but ended up sliding a hand down to his neck. Their legs got tangled, thighs slotted between one another, his hips bucking in his futile attempt to heave Merlin over and get the upper hand, except Merlin kept _moving_ , wiggling everywhere, breathless and making him feel stupid and giddy and a little bit _too_ good -

Merlin shot up from the ground and pulled on the hem of his shirt. “I should - I need to go, because Mum, she’d...” He was blushing furiously and scuffing at the grass with his shoes.

Fuck. Arthur got to his feet and wiped his fringe from his forehead. It had only taken what, less than three hours, and he’d already lost it. He could see his Merlin-free future stretching out in front of him. If they didn’t figure something out soon, it would become reality, and then what?

Well it wasn’t going to happen.

“You can stay. It’s fine, I don’t - it’s just a bit weird for me, right?”

Merlin’s looked away, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.

“But it’ll get less weird, eventually. I mean that’s what people always say about this stuff, yeah?”

“...I guess,” Merlin mumbled.

Arthur walked over to pick up the errant football. “Come on. Let’s go, I dunno, watch a movie? Something about cars with go-faster stripes.” He walked deliberately back to the house. When he glanced back, he saw that Merlin had followed him, behind and on his right. Arthur forced a smile.

Morgana found them a couple hours later on opposite ends of the couch in the living room with all the lights on, despite it being sunny and the drapes being drawn.

“Merlin!” she exclaimed, all nail polish and ruffly things, “how lovely to see you again! After all this time!”

“It’s only been since Christmas,” Merlin mumbled into her chest as she hugged him hello.

Ever since going to uni, Morgana had put on airs. Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Will you be staying for dinner with us all? I’ve convinced Father to have curry tonight.”

Merlin glanced down at his shoes. “Erm, I think Mum wants me home for tea tonight, actually. She worries I won’t eat enough, otherwise.”

Morgana smirked at Arthur as he walked Merlin to the door, but left them to it. When Merlin hadn’t called on Friday, she’d asked after him, so she knew about their fight. Well. She knew about some of it, at least. He tapped the doorframe with his fingertips.

“I - er... Thanks for coming over today, I had a good time.”

Merlin gave him a half smile. “Yeah. Um...” He went pink around his ears. “Sorry about before.”

Arthur wasn’t entirely sure if he meant their fight at school or the fact that his pants were still uncomfortably bunched from their impromptu wrestling match, but he figured it didn’t matter. Merlin hovered.

“S’fine.” Arthur reached out with a sudden urge to hug him around the head but he shoved at his shoulder instead.

“Oi, what was that for...” Merlin rubbed at where Arthur had touched him and shuffled his feet, looking Arthur in the eye.

“Tell your mum I say hi and that you were a lovely little hedgehog today.”

“Er, yeah. Will do.” He slipped out the door and Arthur resolutely did not peer out the window to watch him trot down the walkway towards home.

He felt restless for the remainder of the evening. He drove Morgana spare with his endless fidgeting and tapping and shuffling about, until she snapped at him, practically sending him to his room. It was still a bit early for bed, but he could always watch something...

It was just past eleven when he turned off his laptop, shucked down his jeans and stepped into a hot shower. The day had not been as awkward as he had anticipated - at least, not in the way he had expected it to be. His cock had taken a bit too much interest in the proceedings once he noticed that Merlin was getting hard against his thigh, and it had yet to realise that Merlin wasn’t going to take care of it in the future, but at least they appeared to be on their way to being friends again. He had felt rubbish for the past nine days, and he could tell he was starting to grate on Soph’s nerves. That thought didn’t bother him as much as it might have in the past.

Arthur shook the water out of his hair and rubbed himself dry with a blue towel. After the events of the afternoon, it was no surprise that by the time he was finished, his cock had reached half-mast. Well, no need for pyjamas then, he’d just trip over them later.

Plopping down on the bed, he shut his eyes and got down to business. He ran through his usual stockpile of fantasies as he palmed his cock, but was too distracted to get fully hard.

Arthur caught himself thinking about the way Merlin had squirmed over him this afternoon on the lawn. It reminded him of when they’d been down behind the bins at school, frantically getting off together during the lunch-break. Merlin’s pants had been wet with pre-come before Arthur put his hand down them, and if he hadn’t tucked his cock into the waistband of his trousers, it would have been impossible to hide his erection. It had been pretty gross, with the smell of the rubbish and all the cigarette butts and the gravel, but that all faded to insignificance when Merlin had pushed him into the wall with his hips and Arthur automatically dropped his hand to palm Merlin through his trousers.

It struck him sometimes, when he was in class or mucking around with Sophia or running laps of the cricket pitch, that his hands had touched Merlin’s cock. It seemed like it should be something that wouldn’t just slip his mind, like his hands should look different for it, but they remained stubbornly unchanged. He rolled his head back into the pillows, thinking about the way it had felt when they touched each other. There was something comforting about the fact that Merlin had a cock. And that it got stiff, just because it was so much more obvious with a guy. Once or twice when he had been with Vivian, she had straddled his lap and ground down on his cock, but when he’d slid his fingers into her knickers, she hadn’t been wet, and he couldn’t help wondering why the fuck she did it. With Merlin, at least, it was clear he was interested, because he’d be poking Arthur in the leg.

Merlin had sighed in the rank air behind the bins when Arthur had begun jerking him, curving his spine so that their chests rubbed together. He had been hard for a while, Arthur knew, because he’d deliberately sucked on the end of his pencil during English and watched as Merlin began fidgeting in his seat.

He pumped his cock slowly, like Merlin did when they tossed each other off, running his free hand over his chest and toying with each nipple. He liked the way they could be rough with each other, that he could push Merlin into a bathroom stall and rub up against him, and Merlin just gasped louder against his neck. Arthur dropped his hand lower, to fondle his balls and spread his knees a little wider on the bed.

Arthur had liked Merlin’s noises, they were deeper than the ones his girlfriends had made, and he liked knowing he could wring them out with little twists of his hand. He scraped his forefinger against the skin behind his balls and bucked up into his fist.

He also had liked kissing Merlin, more than he had expected he would. He’d thought about it during those three weeks after they’d watched the porno, and wondered whether it would be different to kissing girls. Merlin had very girly lips after all, which had gone all plump and pouty when he’d sucked on Arthur’s fingers. Of course, once Merlin had worked out how much Arthur liked them, he’d got his revenge for all the teasing by catching Arthur’s eye and sticking a fingertip in his mouth. He made it look innocent enough that no-one ever noticed them, but it always made Arthur blindingly hard in seconds.

Once, in Merlin’s room, they had just lazed around for an afternoon and Merlin had spent twenty minutes licking his stomach, tracing his tongue around Arthur’s belly-button, with a palm pressed over the warm lump in Arthur’s trousers. He’d come in his pants, without Merlin even moving his hand.

Sophia had nice enough lips, and he enjoyed getting head from her - a little too much, he thought, but her lips were nothing like Merlin’s. If Merlin - if _he_ did it, Arthur probably wouldn’t last a minute. His cock spat pre-come up his chest and he gave his balls a sharp tug.

She wore lip-gloss. Sometimes it had different flavours, like strawberry or grape and she encouraged Arthur to kiss it off. Merlin didn’t even wear lip-balm, but he usually tasted like chocolate, or sometimes crisps and sweat and grass, and nothing at all like the girls he’d kissed. When Soph sucked him off, he would grasp her hair, and then his hands would smell of her floral shampoo for hours afterward.

He tried to imagine what it would look like if Merlin _did_ do it. His lips would go all pink and glossy - not like Sophia’s did, but wet with saliva. He might hollow his cheeks and then Arthur would be able to see his cock sliding in as Merlin sucked him down.

But she always did that thing with her fingers, running them behind his balls and back further to rub at his - behind him. He never liked how much he enjoyed it when she did, but maybe it would be different with Merlin, maybe it would be better with him. Arthur’s fingers slid down and he rubbed at himself. It twitched under his fingertips.

He bent his left knee up higher, still pumping his cock slowly, and wiggled the very end of his finger in. It didn’t feel like much, it was just _there_ , the vaguest tickle, and he stopped for a moment, not quite sure if he wanted to keep going. He did like Merlin’s fingers - they were probably his favourite part of him, save for his lips - and his cock - and his hipbones - and he liked how they tended to work in tandem once they’d found themselves alone. Merlin would stroke Arthur’s tongue, usually once they’d taken the edge off, and Arthur would kiss the tip of his fingers idly, tasting himself.

There was a bottle of lube in his bedside cabinet, and he was pouring it onto his own fingers before he could talk himself out of it. He reached back again and pushed one inside.

It didn’t feel like Sophia’s had or like Merlin’s would, if he ever - Arthur jerked his balls again and felt his body spasm around his forefinger. It still didn’t feel like anything really, so he slid his middle finger in alongside the first. It felt very soft inside and smoother than he had expected, and he gave an experimental thrust. The sensation was odd, though not unpleasant, but the skin was tight around his fingers, so he spread them to ease the muscle a bit. That made him jolt, and he felt his body close in around his fingers and it was _good_.

He let go of his cock and rolled over, squirming as his fingers slipped out and back in again. He pulled them free and circled the edge as it dilated and contracted. It wasn’t the most comfortable position to be in; he couldn’t quite reach properly and he wanted more of that stretch. He wanted to know what it would feel like if Merlin did it. He looked down at his fingers. Merlin’s were quite slim, but his cock was bigger than average, probably at least three of his own fingers would be close to the same size. He propped his knee up and reached back again. His ring finger went in beside the other two, though he had to work a bit more to get it in, consciously relaxing open, but once it was in, that stretching sensation was even stronger. He ground his hips into the sheets, shuddering as he bore down.

He kept that up for a little while, just swivelling his hips back and forth between his hand and the bed, working his fingers a little harder once he got into a bit of a rhythm. He wriggled them against his insides, enjoying the strange silkiness, until he found a little bump and a flash of heat ran through him. Oh god, it was his - he’d found - he pressed down on it again, and had to bury his face in the pillows to muffle a groan. Arthur pulled back on his first and third finger, the better to reach the spot over and over, twitching at the feeling.

Arthur continued rubbing that little bump until his wrist started cramping and he had to pull his fingers out. His sheets were spotted with pre-come and lube. He flicked his light on, scanning the room. He refused to think about what he was about to do, just got up and padded around with his cock bobbing between his thighs, searching. He’d heard stories about people getting things stuck up there, so he needed something that wasn’t too short, or breakable. The dry-erase markers were out then. The glass pop-bottle - not big enough and it might shatter. He opened a desk drawer to find a pair of hastily hidden red pants and shut it again immediately. He actually flinched at the handle of his tennis racket.

Then he spotted his trusty Maglite torch in the back of a bookcase stuffed with old text books and sports trophies. He snatched it up before he thought better of it.

The barrel was a bit scuffed from several years worth of camping trips, so he fumbled his bedside drawer open for a condom and rolled it over the end. As an afterthought, he grabbed the towel from his pile of dirty laundry and spread it on his bed. He leaned back against the pillows, gripping the torch while he tried to slow the thuddering of his heart. It was heavy, particularly with the batteries still in it - nothing at all like fingers - and its smoothness alone made Arthur’s cock twitch.

He started with a single finger again, but with lots more lube this time, and although his pulse didn’t seem to slow, he soon felt calmer, and worked in the next two in quick succession. They slid in more easily with all the stretching and the lube, so he pulled them out and grabbed the torch. When the blunt tip bumped against his hole, he felt himself clench up automatically, but forced himself to relax and started pushing. He couldn’t get it in at first, the end was too wide, so he had to catch its rounded edge on the rim of his hole and work it in as he gradually stretched around it. Those first moments after he finally pushed it in were incandescent, like every nerve in his body was set alight at once, but the barrel slipped out of his grasp and was sucked inside himself.

“Ah! Fuck fuck fuck,” he gabbled, trying to grab it and pull it out again, because _Jesus fucking Christ_ that hurt. He got it free, but the pain didn’t ebb for at least another minute while he lay there shivering. His cock had wilted until it was flopping pathetically between his legs, and he cradled himself as the last throbs subsided. He had thought, during those first, horrible seconds that he might have done something serious, but he didn’t think he was bleeding or anything. He prodded around the edges tentatively.

Nothing felt amiss, so he pushed inside again. It was a little bit tender, but not unbearable, and he worked his fingers deeper. It was a shame really, it had felt so good to begin with. He wondered if he would be able to find his prostate again, and reached out with his middle finger, running it over the smooth walls.

It didn’t take long to find the second time around, so he poked it and rubbed at it and soon his hips were bucking up of their own accord. He supposed, if he was careful, that he might be able to manage the torch. He got three fingers inside himself and spread them out as he worked them, not touching his cock, because - _fuck_ \- he was going to come in a minute. He got his pinkie in and kept on stretching, but not too much because he didn’t want to spoil it once he got the torch in.

He squirted another generous dollop of lube into his palm and smeared it over the condom, all the excess running down the inside of his wrist and dripping onto the towel. His hands were too slippery to get a decent grip on the torch, so he wiped them off as best he could on his thighs before lining it up again. He started pushing it in slowly. The angle was wrong, so he dropped his hand an inch and continued pushing until he’d got the very end of it inside. It tugged against his grip, but he held firm, easing it past the tight ring of muscle.

It was the oddest feeling - like he was being filled, almost, in a place that hadn’t been empty before. Once it was in all the way, he just lay there, panting a little as he got used to the pressure. He palmed his cock experimentally, and his body clenched up, along the entire length of the torch, making it slide out again. He pushed it back in, tilting his hips so its weight pulled at his hole, and he caught it in his fingers when his body pushed it out.

His brow was furrowed in concentration as he fucked himself slowly, settling into a rhythm, pressing it in and pushing it out, over and over. Arthur’s dick pulsed against his stomach. He uncurled his other hand from its grip on the towel, still fucking the torch in and out, and trailed his fingers up, cupping his balls briefly before gripping his cock with lube-slick fingers.

A skitter of pleasure ran through him as he swiped his thumb over the tip, and he only just managed to hold the torch in as he gave his cock three slow strokes. He paused, concentrating, and tried moving both hands at once, gasping as the butt of the torch hit his prostate at the same time his fingers twisted over the head of his cock. He could barely believe he was just masturbating, it was practically better than _sex_. He squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on the feeling.

Arthur worked up an unsteady rhythm, and all he could think of, in the midst of all those sensations, was that porno he’d watched with Merlin months ago - the sight of that stupid porn-star as he held the other one’s hips and fucked him. It would be different, if there was another person to help. He wouldn’t have to worry about things slipping out, someone else could move, and maybe roll his balls in just the right way, and hold his hips down and kiss him while they did. Or they could do it while they sucked his cock - not just like Sophia did, but they’d really get into it, drive fingers inside him or something bigger, something thick and a bit weighty. Their mouth would taste like a regular mouth, not like strawberries, and it’d be a little bit chapped, and they’d smell like sweat and skin, and their short fingernails would only scratch when they meant them too.

They could be careless and rough together, tussle as they did it, because it was fun to do that, like he and Merlin had that afternoon. But what if they’d hadn’t stopped, what if they’d just... kept going?

Arthur could have pinned him down on the lawn and held him there, and Merlin would retaliate by cupping his cock or biting his collarbones or squeezing his arse, like he used to when they had gotten off together. Maybe Merlin would keep on going, maybe he could touch his hole, like he did once by accident and had made Arthur jump and fall off the bed. He pressed his lips together to stifle a groan, thrusting the torch in a little harder. Maybe, now Merlin was gay or whatever, he _could_ do it, they’d done it before after all, and he’d liked it. He’d fucking loved it really, not just the getting off together, but making Merlin come. He liked Merlin’s weird faces and he liked holding Merlin’s hot red cock when it kicked up and started coming, and watching it run over his fist or onto his chest, and the way they both smelled afterwards.

Like an errant cricket ball to the head, Arthur realised then, just how much he got off on Merlin getting off - maybe even more than he enjoyed it when Merlin touched him, and he liked that a hell of a lot. He sighed and rubbed the back of his hand over his forehead.

It was hard to deny, with his fucking Maglite up his arse, thinking about another man’s cock, that he was probably rather fucking gay. Especially considering, he thought as he brought his hand back between his legs, that it would be pretty much the best thing ever if there was a cock in his mouth, too. He’d been thinking about it, in the back of his mind, ever since he found out about Merlin and Gwaine. He hooked an arm under his knee, pulling it against his chest so that his hips lifted up off the mattress and the torch sunk in under its own weight.

Arthur let loose a moan, because that _did_ feel like someone else was doing it, enough to feel like it was Merlin’s mouth on him, and Merlin’s cock in his arse, and Merlin’s hands on his chest. He bent up further, making pre-come puddle on his stomach, and it was Merlin’s fingers trailing through, lapping it up and Arthur came, his whole body jerking as he helplessly bore down on the torch, pushing it out until it hit the mattress with a thud.

Arthur panted, exhausted and spent, idly touching his cock as it went soft.

He had never been one to pass out after having sex, but he felt so heavy he couldn’t even bring himself to care that he was covered in sweat and lube and come. He let himself sink back into the pillows, lazing in the debauched sticky-warm haze, and dipped into sleep.

When he came back a few minutes later he could feel the come drying in his chest hair. Arthur rolled over, bumping into the torch with his thigh. He picked it up in the towel and trotted to his bathroom, his gait thrown off-balance by the strain he’d put on his back.

He wiped himself down with the last clean corner of the ruined towel, and studiously scrubbed under his fingernails, grimacing a bit at how crusty they were. He smiled sloppily at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth though, and Arthur figured he would get used to it.

After it was cleaned and dried, Arthur put the Maglite into his bedside table. It was entirely normal to keep a torch there, of course, but the thought of it pleased him regardless. He stretched out under the covers, yawned enormously, and fell asleep right away, grinning stupidly as he drooled onto the pillow.

 

FIN.


End file.
